My Christmas...

So this may be one of those bitch and moan blogs, so excuse me and quit reading if you don't care to read my problems... This week has been incredibly lonely. Even with my girls here, I have felt empty.

I hate being alone! I have tried, any of my friends can speak to this... I tried... So today I take the girls to their dads house, and I drive 2 hours home. I am so stressed about being alone that I stop at the movie theater and see New Moon. Loved it btw... I am going back and forth in my head, I am strong, who could have come to a movie alone, not many. Yet I am weak because as soon as the credits start, I hurry the f*** out of there, for fear that someone might spot me there alone. It's funny though, I use to eat alone all the time, McDonald's, Passkeys, anywhere I was hungry for and didn't have anyone to join me. Maybe I was scared I was the only person alone today, Christmas of all days, a holiday meant for sharing with the one's you love.

Don't get me wrong, I had several offers to spend Christmas with friends, but they were all having various family members over, and I am to crash a family party nor would I be much of a talker... I tend to freeze up and become shy, just ask people from my past. I can't talk to people I don't know. I literally can't get the words out, nor can I make eye contact. Plus I didn't want to be the pathetic friend with no where to go...

So my bitching is done, and I feel much better... time for Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Boondocks and some more adult beverage complimented with a roll of Beef Summer Sausage... till next time...